Dan Gilbert: The Psychology of Your Future Self

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This is a relatively short TED Talk, but it's an interesting one.

Dan Gilbert: The psychology of your future self

"Human beings are works in progress that mistakenly think they're finished." Dan Gilbert shares recent research on a phenomenon he calls the "end of history illusion," where we somehow imagine that the person we are right now is the person we'll be for the rest of time. Hint: that's not the case.

pin This talk was presented at an official TED conference, and was featured by our editors on the home page.

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Truthout).

While I tend to agree with Dr. Rubin, in part, I also have some issues about the generalizations in this article. A quote:
Meditation can lessen distractedness, quiet the inner pandemonium, reduce self-criticism and cultivate the capacity to tolerate a greater range of feelings. But emotions such as greed and hatred are viewed in some meditative traditions, such as classical Buddhism, as "defilements" and obstacles that interfere with experiencing a deeper reality. Meditators often try to quiet their minds so as to transcend or get rid of upsetting thoughts and feelings, rather than learn what they might teach us. [italics mine]
If ANY teacher, therapist, doctor, or whoever, is teaching mindfulness as a way to "get rid of upsetting thoughts and feelings" s/he have totally missed the point. The REAL point of meditation and mindfulness (thank you Pema Chödrön) is to learn how to sit with our suffering, to turn toward it and not away from it. That is how I learned it and how I teach it to my clients.

This is from Pema Chödrön's essay, "How to Tap into the Natural Warmth of Your Heart," which is included in A Pema Chödrön Primer, from The Shambhala Sun magazine.
The natural warmth that emerges when we experience pain includes all the heart qualities: love, compassion, gratitude, tenderness in any form. It also includes loneliness, sorrow, and the shakiness of fear. Before these vulnerable feelings harden, before the storylines kick in, these generally unwanted feelings are pregnant with kindness, with openness and caring. These feelings that we’ve become so accomplished at avoiding can soften us, can transform us. The openheartedness of natural warmth is sometimes pleasant, sometimes unpleasant—as “I want, I like,” and as the opposite. The practice is to train in not automatically fleeing from uncomfortable tenderness when it arises. With time we can embrace it just as we would the comfortable tenderness of loving-kindness and genuine appreciation. [italics mine]
Anyone who is teaching mindfulness and meditation as anything other than a way to turn toward and embrace our most difficult feelings and thoughts is not teaching a Buddhist practice. This is the essential difference between Buddhist meditation and meditation as a tool for stress reduction - confusing the two is a serious mistake.

It's also a mistake to assume (as many Buddhists have) that meditation and mindfulness is all we need to heal our psychological wounds. This is nothing but a form of spiritual bypassing.

Buddhism offers some valuable insights and tools that can be a powerful adjunct to psychotherapeutic interventions, but they cannot replace the healing power of the intersubjective relationship with a good therapist. And, quite often, it can do nothing to heal the preverbal, somatic-level traumas of attachment failures.

That said, here is the article from Dr. Rubin.
The McMindfulness Craze: The Shadow Side of the Mindfulness Revolution
Sunday, 04 January 2015 | By Jeffrey B. Rubin, Truthout | Op-Ed

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The Couch. Jami Parrish, LPC, CSAT, CMC, is a therapist and coach whose aim is to help others live fully and authentically. She's also really smart.

She practices in Tucson, AZ.

Here is the beginning of a recent post:

Affective Neurobiology and Sex Addiction
12/26/2014

“I hate feeling this way.” She said, “…it is like I am wired to feel like this.”

I have heard variations of this sentiment many, many times. (Each time I am reminded, Yes! Yes you are wired to feel like this.) We as mammals ARE wired to feel like this, but that doesn’t mean it is never ending, that there is no hope. I then explain the process that occurs deep in our brain and she expresses a sense of relief. “THAT makes sense!” she exclaims. Understanding the underlying neurobiology to our processes helps us not just understand but regulate our nervous systems and those of our clients. Dan Siegel’s Interpersonal Neurobiology uses this principal as the basis for conceptualization and treatment (Badenbock, 2008)

According to Jaak Panksepp, PhD, ALL mammals have seven primary affective (emotional) neurocircuits deep in the brain. They are adaptive, essential to our survival, and part of our basic brain structure. (Panksepp, 2014) While it is relatively well known now that the emotional center of the brain is in the limbic system, what Panksepp has found is that emotions are much more primitive, and hence much more powerful. The emotional pathways extend far beyond the limbic system into the upper and middle brain stem. (Panksepp, personal communication, 2014) These circuits reside in “ancient parts of the brain;” they are unconscious, hence the term primary. (Panksepp, 2014; Panksepp, 2012; Panksepp, 2010a) “All aspects of mental life can be influenced by our primary-process feelings and the overall affective spectrum of the lower MindBrain is foundational for higher mental health issues” (Panksepp, 2012, p. xii). Emotions do not originate by a cognitive process. They begin in basic biological experiences deep in our brains and the subtleties (determining if we are feeling shame or guilt, anxiety or excitement) are then determined by our life experiences and our interpretations (secondary and tertiary processes, respectively, which I will explain below). The term MindBrain or BrainMind is Panksepp’s acknowledgment that we can not separate mind from brain and body. His theory is controversial in the field of affective neurobiology, but his decades of research supports his proposals. This model will make sense to those who feel their emotions take over and to those therapists working with trauma and addiction. It also helps to explain the power of sex addiction and other process addictions.
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